So, according to them I’m not sexy, pretty, or even worth the time of day! Part 2

Okay, so I am finally able to get to part 2. It’s been a while since I wrote on here, been busy with school and work. I decided with this post I’m going to take it back to my past and talk about my present a little bit.

My Past: Everyone has had a crush or two throughout our school years. I might have had more crushes than the average. My crushes tended to be the guys that didn’t see me as potential. I wore big glasses, I was fat, I was taller than most of the boys there, etc. that’s how it was all throughout school. The guys I crushed on didn’t give me the time of day or always put me in the friend zone. I think since I was in school, only one boy actually liked me, but, he was extremely obnoxious and was always getting in trouble. That’s not someone I wanted to be with. I did have a boyfriend when I was 14, for four months, and come to find out he didn’t really like me, but was head over heels in love with my friend (of course). Funny thing is she turned out to be a lesbian, lol.

As I got older and out of secondary school I started working at my first job. I was there for 1 year and 7 months. There was this guy there that I really liked, I mean really really liked. But of course it went nowhere, one because he had a girlfriend and two, let’s just say I am the complete opposite of her; looks and everything else. That was the last guy I ever had a crush on.

I started doing dating sites and didn’t have any luck on them really. I got responses from guys, but, they were guys my father’s age. That’s something I just cannot deal with. Or, they were guys that only wanted to hook up and I certainly will not deal with that. I think I’ve tried over 10 dating sites and haven’t gotten any results. I’ve been on Match.com, EHarmony, and OKcupid (3 times), and other specialized websites and still nothing. I gave up.

Present: As of now, I am no close to being in a relationship then I was before. I have come to terms that I am not one of the lucky ones. Yes, I believe that most of the time luck does factor into it; opinions vary. I just have to be myself and be comfortable and if that means that being myself is going to keep me single, then, it will just have to be so. I’m well prepared to face the world alone. That’s the reality I have to deal with. I know this concerns some of my family and friends but I never understood why, maybe I should ask one day. I just feel if they are happy with their relationships, my lack thereof shouldn’t be in their mind. Besides, my relationship status should not affect how they conduct their lives. I’m honestly not one that concerns myself with someone’s relationship status, never was and won’t ever be.

Looks like there is going to be a part 3. I have something in mind.

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2 thoughts on “So, according to them I’m not sexy, pretty, or even worth the time of day! Part 2

  1. I’ve done dating sites but I guess I’ve never been totally serious about it. I have issues with putting up a picture for everyone to see. And the times I have put up a pic to give it a chance I got no responses, anyway. Sometimes i get the wild urge to give it another try, especially when Eharmony does their free weekends…but it never amounts to anything at all.

    “I know this concerns some of my family and friends but I never understood why, maybe I should ask one day. I just feel if they are happy with their relationships, my lack thereof shouldn’t be in their mind.”

    Well, to an extent I understand because hypothetically speaking, if I ever found myself on the verge of marrying someone who loves and cares about me I would feel sad for my younger sister who is pretty much in the same boat as me. (Hypothetically) Knowing what it feels like to have someone who understands, cares for, loves me….I think I would feel concerned that she can’t experience the same.

    • Putting up a picture on dating sites is a little scary. I usually one put up one or two, but, I was still hesitant. They say people with pictures get more hits or more responses, I guess that only works for some people.

      I can understand what you are saying when it comes to wanting someone to have that. I never had to worry about that because my sister and brother always have someone. I’m the odd one out. I guess because of that, I have become a little, hardened to it. I’ve never asked my brother or sister how they felt about my situation and actually never really thought about it.

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