What True Loneliness Is!

For some people, loneliness has to do with not having a mate, what loneliness for me is not having ANYONE that does not understand you. Anyone meaning family, “friends”, and others! In my situation, I’m a loner. I don’t make friends easily and that has something to do with my introversion and a little of bit of having bad experiences with people before. I’ve always been sort of a weird person, never truly fit in anywhere. My interests have always differed from the peers around me. Everyone would go left and I’d be the only one going right. I was not trying to be different; I was trying to be myself. And being myself has led to a life time of loneliness.

I have no one in my life that I can really relate to; including family. When I need someone to vent to I have no one and therefore I keep it in; it turns to anger. When I need a shoulder to cry I have no one; therefore I cry all alone away from others and so little emotion when I am around others. When I need compassion, I have no one so that leaves me feeling as if no one cares about me. That leaves me feeling angry, cold, and lonely. I accept everyone for who they are but no one shows me the same willingness.

True loneliness is when someone who calls themself your friend yet criticizes you when you like something different from what they like. That’s why you always see me put quotes over with the word “friend(s)”. The truth is I really don’t have friends, only acquaintances. A friend is someone wouldn’t ever put you down for your interests or call you boring just because you choose not to like something that they do.

True loneliness is when always do stuff alone because no one else enjoys the stuff you do, but, you will always be there for them when they want to do something they like. True loneliness is when no one understands what you have been through so they just push it away in a closet because they don’t want to talk about it. See: a shoulder to cry on. I do have two people who I talk to online from time to time, but, they can’t physically be here when I need them. True loneliness is when you hear your family laughing and having a good time without you.

True loneliness is what I feel sometimes.


2 thoughts on “What True Loneliness Is!

  1. LOL I always put “friends” in quotes too because there’s no one who I can just share my true self with. I’d see how they interact with their other friends and see that I wasn’t near the top of the list.

    At the LEAST I used to want to find someone who would keep their plans. If you can’t (don’t want to) go or do this or that, fine–just let me know instead of avoiding my calls when the time comes. That’s like one of my biggest peeves ever. Sorry, channeling angst from my high school days.

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